Is This Me??

Oh Its been so long since I wrote my last entry.
I miss blogging...

This past months have been so critical for me, OJT, thesis, and personal things need to be accomplished.

But honestly, since my last entry and up to this moment there is no idea comes to my mind that I can share in this blog. I cant find my self in the mood of writing. There is no topic that comes to my mind that I can elaborate and share my thoughts about.


Last month, I feel so sad about myself.
I am a very quiet and serious type of person and I hate my self for that.
There is always misunderstanding when I act in something that is not an element of being quiet and serious.
Misunderstanding that leads to no good but difference between me and the people around me.

Before I sleep at night I am always thinking to change my personality,
A personality that can be accepted easily.
Every night I did that. Thinking, imagining, fantasizing( hehehe).

Until I came to the point that I asked God.
"Lord, Do you want me to change?"
and surprisingly I received an answer..

During the morning, I open my computer and do what usually I do,
Facebook, listen to music, reading, a little bit of programming for our thesis( ya just a little because there are many things clogging my mind for me to produce a good logic needed for programming) and wasting time refreshing the browser to see some updates on facebook.
As I waste my time, I open the television and I watch and listen to the talk of a preacher, and there I found the Lords answer to my question.


The topic is about "BE TRUE TO YOURSELF"..
Wow, I think no need to listen to the whole talk, the title says it all.
As I finished watching many things comes to my mind,
like "Is being true to myself means I must act the same?"

for me, We all have a special gift, I believe in that.
Maybe your gift is to be a teacher,
to be a mother,
to make others laugh,
to be an accountant, a programmer and many more.
The bottom line is, "Is the way you are living now, magnify your gifts?"

If your answer is yes, good.
But if no,i will ask you.

Have you discovered what your gift Is?

maybe you should pause for a while, think, and ask the lord.
He will answer you in many way.

I think I've already said this on my previous entry that your gift is where You can put your passion, talent and you are enjoying while doing it. That is you calling. It gives you joy and fulfillment while doing such thing.

Now back to the question,  "Is the way you are living now, magnify your gifts?"

if you know what your calling is and your answer is no, I think that is the time you need to change.
Not change like you are acting another person. instead change for better, change a something in you that can tell the world this is me, this is how God wants me to be.

So that the world recognize the Lord,
the one who give you the gift,.

Do not act, just Live.

.
In the process I learned to love myself again.
I will change a little bit but I will be true to my self.

Always remember that
there is God that acknowledge you,
proud of who you are,
celebrates you and loves you no matter what the world sees about you..

At the end It is not what the world says that matters.
It is how you live your life,
Are you living a life that is pleasing to God?
Repent, God has unlimited mercy..



May Your life be blessed,
Ash