Even IF

I just want to share to you this poem.




*******************************


Even If
Your heart is breaking
Your mind is unclear
Your tired and restless and full of fear
Come to me-

even if
You say words you shouldn't
You don't do things you should
You doubt and try to change,
but never think you could.
Come to me- 

even if
You thought an evil thought
You thought the thought again
You turned the thought to action and now your bound in sin.
Come to me- 

even if
You say "But I knew better, I belong to you"
Child, I am not surprised by anything you do.

I made you in my image I fashioned you with care,
When you cried tears into your pillow, remember I was there.
I have always been and always will I be.

For even when you do those things, you still belong to me.

Even if you do these things, Oh child, don't you see?
Even if, even if, you still can come to me.

There is a secret place I have created where you may seek my face,
this place I have for you is called "The Father's Warm Embrace"
And when I have held you in my arms and rocked you, listening closely to your fears,
I will place you on my lap and wipe away your tears.
Then, I will smile. 


A smile to let you know I am pleased.
For when you hurt and when you sinned, still- you came to me.


So, do not draw back from me my child,
I am Abba Father to you, remember in my word I said -Behold,
I make all things new.

I will forgive you, heal you, restore you,
I will shower you with grace.

I will never turn my back to you, but you will see my face.
On your journey home, when I see you I will run.....
Even if, Even if, My child, even if just come.

*******************************




May your life be truly Blessed,


Ash

Listen to Him

Oh....... I LOVE this week.
I really do..


This is the first week of my fourth year college life.

Before this week arrives, I am undecided if I will pursue my study or stop for a while and continue next semester or next year. My mind is full of many things that makes me think of it. Of course before I decide for myself I consult to my best adviser. I pray to God for the enlightenment of my mind to do what is the best for me to do.
I ask also some of my friends to help me with my worries.


Even myself says that I want to stop, all the answers I got from the people I ask says GO ON. They said I have only 1 year to finish college I must grab the opportunity and don't waste time.


I noticed that every time I pray about this matter, the Lord answers me right away. One time after I went to the blessed sacrament and pray, when I am doing what I always want to do to surf the net haha. I've gone to a site that talks about dream, being successful and many things about pursuing something. Even the homily of the priest and gospel readings, I think are targeting only one person, and that is me.


Before I decide I talk to God and said "Lord, I surrender. Let Your will be done not mine".
I also made a covenant with the Lord. I said in prayer, "I will go on, But when the time comes that I am in the moment of falling, Please always be there ready to catch me."
I know that moment, the Lord is with me saying,"Yes my son, I will always be with you in any moment of your life."

**********************************************

June 15 arrives, First day of class and also the day of my nativity.
Early in the morning, I went to church to attend a mass.
I thank the Lord for another year that He entrusted me His life.
another year to be a better person,
another year to spend with my love ones,
another year to be with my friends,
another year to enjoy His blessings here on earth,
and another year to LOVE.



after the mass I went home. The same situation and nothing is different from any other day.
as I spent many time in front of my pc, I decided to spend some moment with my classmates. We eat together and surprisingly I feel very awkward because they are singing happy birthday inside the mall while we are walking... hahahaha. I feel so shy but that is what makes friend different.
In the school, one of them give me a tumbler with their greetings and signature as gift, and I really appreciate it.But the best gift I receive is them already, my friends who is always there for me, making me happy and making fun of me even they know that I am easy to get angry. ^^,
I love also the Faculty members of my school.
When I enter the faculty room, there is our dean asking me some food before she sign my registration form because she knows it is my birthday. There is also our coordinator singing Happy birthday for me and other instructors who greets me that day. I feel so blessed.


I said to myself, "Buti na lang ngenroll ako"(good thing I enrolled).
Our section is handed by the instructor that I said to our coordinator that I wanted to be our professor. I am so impressed with the way he teaches to us during the demo. I enjoyed his class and I learned a lot.


Many things happened this week, It will take a long time to write this blog if I write it all.
What is important is I really learned a lesson.

as JP2 said, "Never doubt, never tired and never be discourage"

God is always with you, every single moment of our life.
Maybe we neglected Him some time but He is there watching us and waiting for us to recognize Him.


Do not be afraid to deal with God, at the end you will always be the winner.


Entrust everything to Him and Let your eyes see how He works to your life.

Carry your cross with Him and It will be lightened.

From now on I am ready to face life's new challenges because I know He is carrying me.



How about you, Are you ready???


May your life be truly blessed,

Ash

Is This Me??

Oh Its been so long since I wrote my last entry.
I miss blogging...

This past months have been so critical for me, OJT, thesis, and personal things need to be accomplished.

But honestly, since my last entry and up to this moment there is no idea comes to my mind that I can share in this blog. I cant find my self in the mood of writing. There is no topic that comes to my mind that I can elaborate and share my thoughts about.


Last month, I feel so sad about myself.
I am a very quiet and serious type of person and I hate my self for that.
There is always misunderstanding when I act in something that is not an element of being quiet and serious.
Misunderstanding that leads to no good but difference between me and the people around me.

Before I sleep at night I am always thinking to change my personality,
A personality that can be accepted easily.
Every night I did that. Thinking, imagining, fantasizing( hehehe).

Until I came to the point that I asked God.
"Lord, Do you want me to change?"
and surprisingly I received an answer..

During the morning, I open my computer and do what usually I do,
Facebook, listen to music, reading, a little bit of programming for our thesis( ya just a little because there are many things clogging my mind for me to produce a good logic needed for programming) and wasting time refreshing the browser to see some updates on facebook.
As I waste my time, I open the television and I watch and listen to the talk of a preacher, and there I found the Lords answer to my question.


The topic is about "BE TRUE TO YOURSELF"..
Wow, I think no need to listen to the whole talk, the title says it all.
As I finished watching many things comes to my mind,
like "Is being true to myself means I must act the same?"

for me, We all have a special gift, I believe in that.
Maybe your gift is to be a teacher,
to be a mother,
to make others laugh,
to be an accountant, a programmer and many more.
The bottom line is, "Is the way you are living now, magnify your gifts?"

If your answer is yes, good.
But if no,i will ask you.

Have you discovered what your gift Is?

maybe you should pause for a while, think, and ask the lord.
He will answer you in many way.

I think I've already said this on my previous entry that your gift is where You can put your passion, talent and you are enjoying while doing it. That is you calling. It gives you joy and fulfillment while doing such thing.

Now back to the question,  "Is the way you are living now, magnify your gifts?"

if you know what your calling is and your answer is no, I think that is the time you need to change.
Not change like you are acting another person. instead change for better, change a something in you that can tell the world this is me, this is how God wants me to be.

So that the world recognize the Lord,
the one who give you the gift,.

Do not act, just Live.

.
In the process I learned to love myself again.
I will change a little bit but I will be true to my self.

Always remember that
there is God that acknowledge you,
proud of who you are,
celebrates you and loves you no matter what the world sees about you..

At the end It is not what the world says that matters.
It is how you live your life,
Are you living a life that is pleasing to God?
Repent, God has unlimited mercy..



May Your life be blessed,
Ash